Tags
battles, fighting, growing up, heartbreak, learning a lesson, maturity, quiet, quotes, silence, tongue
“You are most powerful when you are most silent. People never expect silence. They expect words, motion, defense, offense, back and forth. They expect to leap into the fray. They are ready, fists up, words hanging from their mouths. Silence? No.”
The squeaky wheel gets the oil, is what we are taught in this society. If you are angry let it out. If someone annoys you tell them. If you are hurting make sure everyone around you hurts too. Our tongues are used as weapons. Oh yes, we have spent years sharpening our best offense. And often it doesn’t take much for us to pull it out of the sheath its eagerly awaiting in and let someone have it. And I know all this, because that has been me…moi! My emotions are always sitting on the tip of my tongue, like little grenades ready to be launched out at the first sign of emotional distress. And buddy I can launch them good!
However, words are like burrowing heart breaks, like heat seeking missiles that can enter into the heart of another and stay with them for life. Always speaking to them and reminding them of pain with each move they make. We so underestimate the power of our words. Beat me with sticks and stones, because the bruises will heal but hold your tongue because your words will stay with me for life.
And I know this because I have had my moments where I let something slip out of my mouth without fully thinking it and definitely without fully feeling it because I knew it would hurt the one who was hurting me, but instead of feeling better, I instantly felt so much worse than the pain they were inflicting on me. Because causing pain to someone is a whole other kind of pain and to me it’s a deeper pain, I feel responsible and guilty and just plain black inside. That is when I realized that words can never be taken back, so choose them wisely! They will live on far beyond your presence with that person. And they can hold them back and destroy them on the inside. Life is hard enough, the last thing we need to inflict on others is another bag to make the journey heavier.
And among those that are hurting you, teach them by your silence. It is always surprising to me when someone who should fight back, remains quiet. Not expected. People always expect your response, but are startled when there is none. Or if there is a response that is gracious when it should be nasty. You will throw them off their game, and in time they will feel like a tool.
I know inside all of us is this need for justice, we want people to know exactly who they are and what they have done wrong. There is a time for honesty, there is a time to say what needs to be said. But pick your battles. Because no one wants to live in a war zone.
True words…
Though the words we choose are just our own descriptions of our perceptions or feelings, too often we choose to believe (quite literally) what we hear.
I like to try to understand another perspective and see it from there view point.
That helps me understand. It doesn’t nessaserilly make it so or even true…its just their view point. How they have chosen to describe what they see, feel or have experienced.
I may not share the same view…but I respect their right to have it.
I may not respect their judgement but in my silence I’m provided time to be contemplative…thoughtful even. I can then choose my words for more meaning or..just “be” with way was said.
I know what is true in the words I hear spoken by others when I know myself.
When I speak my own words I’m careful.